CHAPTER 1:

by liveformusicx3

Verse 1
I’m going home
Down-hearted and hoping I’m close
To some new beginning
I know
There’s a reason for everything that comes and goes

Sweet Silver Lining by Kate Voegele began to play on the radio as I was driving to yet another doctor’s appointment. I looked to my right to see my soon to be seven year old daughter Gracie singing as she reached to turn up the volume on the radio. I smiled at her and began to sing as well. I really loved that song.

Chorus
So many people are looking to me to be strong and to fight
But I’m just surviving
And I may be weak but I’m never defeated
And I’ll keep believing
In clouds with that sweet silver lining

It has been a year and four months since we returned home from China with Gracie. So much has happened over the year. Gracie turned six two months after we returned and she just turned seven two months ago. She is currently out of school because it is summer vacation but she’s going on into the second grade.

Verse 2
Most day I try
My best to put on a brave face
But inside my bones are cold and my heart breaks
But all the while, something’s keeping me safe and alive

The song continued to play as we pulled into the garage and searched for a parking space close to the main entrance of the maternity ward. As we parked and listened to the radio, my mind began to race through images of everything that happened from the time we found Gracie up until now.

“Aw man I loved that song” she whined as I parked and turned off the car causing the radio to turn off as well.
“Come on we can hear it later” I assured her as I unbuckled my seat belt and opened the door.
“I’ll get that for you mom” she said as she ran around grabbed my purse, and held the door open for me.
“Thank you sweetie” I said as I slowly stepped out and let her close the door behind me.
“No problem here” she said handing me my purse.
“Thank you” I said as I grabbed it from her hand.

We walked towards the elevator. Unfortunately, there wasn’t any parking on the first floor but luckily there was on the second. We waited for the elevator and then we made our way down. Once the elevator made it down and opened, we stepped out and made our way into the hospital. We walked over to the woman behind the counter and I pulled out my ID from my bag.

“Good morning ma’am may I please see an ID or a License?” she asked.
“Sure here” I replied handing it to her.
“May I ask where you are going?” she said to me.
“I have an appointment with Dr. Megan at 10:30am in the GYN” I replied.
“Okay please stand in front of this little camera and look down into it,” she explained as she pointed to the small device sitting on her desk. It took a picture of me then printed out two slips. “Here’s your visitors sticker and your ID just follow this hallway on the left and then follow the footprints marked on the floor”
“Thank you” I said as I placed the sticker on my shirt and gave Gracie the other.
“Have a nice day” she smiled.
“You too” I replied as Gracie and I walked down the hallway and followed the footprints marked on the floor.

After a while of following the footprints, we finally got to the GYN’s office. We entered and she took a seat while I went to the window and filled out a form. It wasn’t as full as I thought it would be but still there were a good amount of women to keep the doctor’s busy for a while. After filling out the form, I went to sit by my daughter to wait until my name was called.

“Ashley Morales” they called.
“Are you going to go in with me or do you prefer to stay out here and wait?” I whispered to Gracie.
“Ashley Morales” they called again.
“I’m right here I’m coming,” I said to them as I tried to get up as fast as possible. It’s not so easy when you’re eight months pregnant and your belly is huge.
“Yea of course I’m going in with you mom I want to see my little brother” she replied as she got up as well.
“Or little sister” I reminded her as we walked into the doctor’s office.

After eight months of being pregnant, we still didn’t know whether we were having a boy or a girl. Sometimes the baby looked like a girl and sometimes it looked like a boy. I’m thinking it’s a boy and so does everyone else. It seems like the baby likes to hide his friend in between his legs or he just like to play with our minds. Whatever it is that he does still makes me believe he’s a boy. Either way it doesn’t matter whether it’s a he or a she as long as the baby is healthy I am happy.

“Good morning Ashley” the nurse greeted me as she took my pressure.
“Good morning Maria” I greeted back.
“How’s the baby?” she asked as she took my weight.
“Oh he’s kicking a lot these days” I replied as I stepped off the scale.
“So it’s a boy,” she asked.
“We’re going to find that out today but I’m pretty sure he is” I replied with a smile.
“Well keep me informed,” she said as she wrote down a couple notes on the chart. “Just wait here the doctor will be right with you,” she said as she walked towards the door. “See you later Gracie,” she said before walking out.
“Bye Maria” Gracie replied.

Minutes later Dr. Megan walked in.

“Good morning how are you Ashley?” she greeted as she looked at the charts.
“Excited to find out the sex of the baby,” I replied with a smile.
“Well everything seems to be going great” she said flipping through the sheets. “Your weight it good and so is your pressure and everything else seems fine we should be able to see the baby fine and what he or she is,” she said as she pulled the ultrasound machine closer. “Well let’s lay you down and lift up your shirt,” she said as she started up the machine.
“Hold this sweetie” I gave Gracie my bag.
“Okay here we go,” she said as she rubbed the cold creamy lotion onto my belly.
“Whoa that’s cold!” I shivered.
“Well if you look right here,” she said pointing to the screen as she moved the tiny device over my belly. “You could see that he’s a boy,” she said to me. “You could see his penis right there,” she pointed out. “Look at his toes and his feet”
“Aw” Gracie commented as she stared at the screen in amazement. I really wish the father could’ve been here to see his son I know he probably would’ve been excited and amazed as well. If only he wouldn’t have gone away on tour maybe he would’ve known that I was pregnant with our son.